I Fell From the Sky, You Know
I fear a lot and it’s often quite irrational good thing I learned that I am going to skydive from 5km only yesterday evening
there has been basically not enough time to worry - present from gf with a late enough delivery to corner me
Well, I have always wanted it. Starting from the teenage years. But as growing bigger and beard-er it has rather become some muted itch. Especially with absence of reels and tik toks in my life - it became something completely off the plate.
And it’s quite interesting to be able to observe and dissect your fear.
Inevitability
So as soon as I have signed the liability waiver online ~16h before the jump my heart started racing.
First thing that I have done - I have watched their tutorial for things needed to be done during jump
This has calmed me a bit
Then I have asked fellow chat gpt - how to prepare to this mentally
He told me several good advices - like look at the instructors around you - focus on how calm they are
So his advice was gold:
- Reframe experience as: “skydiving is procedural, not brave”, “you are jumping with people whose mindset is
nothing goes wrong” - Borrow calm from your instructor
- There is not much of “falling” sensation - no rollercoaster like stomach drop
I have also decided for myself - that no matter what - I will NOT back off
Day X
So being workaholic has its own benefits. Work always makes me calm. Swarms of agents, everything under control. Managed to build several services in the morning and on the way to SkyDive. But when the work has finished - roughly 10 min before arrival fear came back.
So I have started dissecting fear in order to tame it. What is that so scary in jumping from the sky.
Initial fears of something goes wrong were not present at all
There have been approximately several things I’ve feared
- Stress expectation on boarding plane + waiting anxiety before jump
- Froze at the exit and never jump
- Pass out / vomit / defecate / de-pee-cate during jump
- Pass out during descent barrels with parachute.
Naming fears and seeing them clean actually helped me. 3 and 4 have been very improbable things to me - I have passed out only once in a life. And motion sickness happened to me only once - during childhood roadtrip to Poland.
For 2 — I have decided to tell my instructor — that “if I freeze - push me out of plane”
T-10
Ground preparations are surprisingly brief for tandem jumps in Dubai. I mean - they require minimum of 2k jumps for their spot in order to be able to dive alone there. And something probably much stricter for instructors - so putting on harness + briefing been only like 5 min.
Then comes the nasty wait. The anxiously pleasant and unpleasant at the same time. The butterflies as one might call it. Without phone. Without work. Just waiting for the boarding to plane.
On a side note it has been funny to observe people around me - the venue genuinely felt like the aqua park for grown ups with the sky diving as the biggest and spookiest ride there. Fired eyes people humming here and there waiting for their next ride.
T-2
Big golf car with two benches in front of each other arrived in order to pick up a squad for the plane. Sitting there somehow reminded me the “air force’s romantique” from american films - where squad of highly trained group alpha is sitting there and hanging around as if before some important landing mission. So it’s some jokes to relieve the pressure, cheering up on each other and each one doing some tiny personal rituals before the jump.
Takeoff
Quick hop into the double prop plane. Same two benches facing each other - but much more compact space around. Fast takeoff, 30s after entering the plane we have been already flying.
Actually, according to both Whoop and my personal perception - most of the stress happened at the plane takeoff. It was like 2 min of moderate internal panic. But then I have managed to calm down somehow. People around me have been rather calm. Continuing classical “as per american movies” cheering up and tiny rituals.
As plane has been ascending to almost 5km - air been getting noticeable cooler and sparser. When instructor attached me to his harness and tightened it - even more relief has been noted by the nervous system. 120 bpm —> 90 bpm.
I have been closely watching the height we have been climbing at - peeking at the sky diving monitors on wrists of people around. The upwards spiral of the plane has been quite beautiful as well - dynamic and with views of skyscrapers and industrial port. Upward glissade. Crescendo. Those words have been coming to my head.
Altitude Reached
Then plane suddenly stopped; Its twin prop roar silenced. And then it hit me again - I am about to jump from the plane. 5k above in the sky. But OK. Let’s see how other people will jump. There has been group of 4 seasoned sky divers with us - as the plane “drop chute” opened and frost entered the cabin - they have quickly climbed to the plane fuselage, all 4 of them, and started notable counting to 3.
Then after quick pendulums as per counts - they had all disappeared and the cold air has entered cabin even more. Next group after them managed to exit the plane faster than I’ve blinked.
Instructor started towing us both towards the wide open gate to the cold and bright outer space.
Me and Abyss
“That’s it. That fast” goes my thinking.
After several more slides we reach the pinnacle of this post and sky diving itself - you and void below you. Operator is on my right, Instructor behind with both harnesses of us attached to each other. Writing this 2 days after a jump - my palms get sweaty immediately when I am recalling this moment in my head.
Then both of instructor and videographer started countdown - with pendulum moves of their bodies before proper jump. ONE, TWO, THREE.
I haven’t hesitated. Haven’t frozen. Accepted the inevitability of a jump. And just mentally prepared to face the acceleration.
It felt like nothing at first - blast of cold air and no acceleration at first. But then it has picked up for a few seconds until we reached “cruise speed”.
It felt like jumping to the hay bale at first, but in some polar region.
I have screamed a bit at first - but then just started smiling.
Smiling with my mouth wide open so that it has managed to dry out completely through 10 seconds before I’ve closed it.
It weren’t scary at all; It was rather delusional. I think people call it derealization - so when in further freefall I felt it as if I am in a video game and the ground is rapidly getting closer and closer. It has also felt like a lucid dream - you know, the one that is not good dream and bad dream in particular - rather puzzlingly both.
I’ve tried to watch around, found video guy floating around like a happy flying squirrel - doing 360s and flying around us. Looked at the palm - then industrial port at the right. It feels very good to be at the top of the world.
Freefall has been approximately 60s First 5-7 seconds been the acceleration and me trying to understand what’s happening Next batch of time been me realizing that it is not that scary at all! Took probably 5 seconds more But then pure smile and happiness. Amazed eyes looking around and dried because of smiling mouth.
Pulled back from a sweet dream
I haven’t been actually thinking about getting too close to ground - no fears at all. Pure delight from maxing out concept of “being in a present moment”. But the ground have been getting closer and closer really fast. Much faster than I’ve expected.
At some moment instructor pulled something - short sound of fabric moving against each other. And then ludicrous pull upwards. You know - kinda similar to falling out away from the sweet dream you had. It was fast deceleration - though manageable. Like flooring brakes on a track car. Maybe a bit more. But sweet lucid dream finished.
I have immediately started laughing - at this point I’ve realized - been doing paragliding before, so this part been quite familiar. More looking around. A bit of steering parachute myself. Some proper circles when you can actually feel the motion sickness - even if you don’t have it.
Several minutes of relaxed gliding and looking towers slowly getting closer and closer. And the yacht club under the toes with boats lurking around.
Final preparations before touchdown - legs up and secured. And then the smoothest landing I ever had - 6k jumps of instructor is no joke.
Aftermath - wouldn’t it be easy for a guy who literally fell from the sky!
I’ve been writing this for well over a week. Why? Every time I recall this in my head - my palms are immediately sweating and typing becomes inconvenient. P.S. - Palms are Sweaty.
I have managed to catch a cold after the skydive - cold abyss was no joke! Though I somehow feel that my free will and self confidence have risen! When new fear or friction kicks in - I go on myself - “wouldn’t it be easy for a guy who literally fell from the sky!”. This is how I have switched to a higher caliber dumbbells in a gym, launched my first open source which is climbing to 100 stars now, written some good content to Reddit that went somewhat viral.
After you fall from sky - you feel that you can do everything. There are no more limits for you. Go for it.
P.S. I guess after P.S. = palms are sweaty (Eminem voice!) my playful meta comments here might feel sweaty as well.
P.P.S. Read it like trip report
P.P.P.S. (meaty one) It’s quite puzzling for me to understand how long will this effect from the first jump hold? is it weeks? months? When will it fade? Will second jump refresh it? Or it’s like first jump is 70% of all “emotional allowance” and next ones will be just attempts to find something similar?